Location: Nevada
Trigger warning and please don't flag this. I'm really struggling and a recent case in the news has me spinning about and reliving a sexual assault that happened to me in November of 2018. I need to know if I have any recourse (with the cops or the perpetrator) after this long and who I would need to talk to about it. Idk what kind of lawyer I would even need. Details below, please skip if it's not safe for you to read.
I was violently assaulted in Nevada in 2018. I was on a date with a man I met on Tinder who was in my city for a conference. We had fun while we were out and I liked him and felt like going back to his hotel room. I know that doesn't look good for me, the detective on my case made sure I knew it. Anyway, we got back to the room and kissed for a bit then he got extremely violent and he scared me. He eventually gained power over me long enough to penetrate me with his fingers as he attempted to also rape me. I fought HARD. I was not letting that happen. I told him no, scratched and kicked, and eventually got him off me long enough to get up. When I did this he sat back on the bed super casually and started laughing. I grabbed my purse which was in eyesight and thought to put my balet flat shoes on, which were next to the bed. Adding this detail because the detective told me it was suspicious I had the ability to grab my belongings when I was leaving. I just knew I may need to run so I needed shoes and I would need a phone, which was in my purse, to call 911. As I left I saw there was blood all over the sheets. So much blood. At least a 1 foot round spot of it, I will never forget that image. I tried to grab the sheet for proof but he jumped up so I ran. I got to the elevator of the hotel/casino and got to the main floor bathroom as fast as I could. I was dripping blood down my legs, crying, shaking. I went into a bathroom stall and called 911. Cops came quickly and took my report then took me to a place where they do rape exams. It was just like a metal building in a place I didn't recognize behind a gate. They did the rape kit. The nurse begged me to get stitches for the lacerations to my vagina but I was already in so much pain and so empty I couldn't handle the thought of going to the ER. I should also mention I'm a nurse and I was worried about running into coworkers. I was so embarrassed.
A detective followed up with me days later after I left several messages. They brought me into the station and took my phone. They said they needed to download the contents for evidence and I gave it to them. That took at least 90 minutes and they gave me the phone back saying they couldn't get anything off it. (Side note, the first cops that came took photos of his tinder profile and our text messages I showed them on my phone.) The detective treated me like I had committed a crime. I was told my story was suspicious because I went to the room willingly. I was told they saw the security footage which identified the perpetrator leaving that hotel room holding the crumpled up linens I said they would find there. The detective went so far as to say he acknowledged that he saw the person leave with sheets but since he couldn't confirm they were the actual bloody sheets he wasn't going to investigate further. Then he dropped a bomb on me. He said they contacted the perpetrator who had retained a lawyer. The detective said because he got a lawyer there was nothing else they could do to help me. The detective closed my case that day. I was in shock. I left. I thought about it for days then called the police back. I never again got to speak to that detective. I tried to even get a copy of the report and any documents related to the investigation and I was denied. I wanted a copy of the rape kit report and they said they don't give those out. After a few weeks I dropped it due to falling into a deep depression which lasted months, with resulting trauma that has lasted until today, seven and a half years later.
Since the Justice system betrayed me, after I did everything I was supposed to do, are there any protections the civil legal system may provide? I have always wanted this person to face what he did and to have consequences. You know I don't even know his full name? I blocked a lot of stuff out. I was hoping if I had the reports I could get his name as a starting point for a different investigation or something. All I know is he went by the name "Ashay" (sp?) which was a nickname, worked at EBAY as a computer engineer and he was in town for a conference. I contacted tinder to report the assault and they said they didn't have a record of his account. He deleted it.
If there is truly nothing to be done at this point I would even appreciate hearing that. I've gone this long with this event constantly in the back of my mind and I can successfully hold it back until there's a strong reminder, like reading another survivor's story in the news today. I want to move on and I thought I could without justice but so far, I can't. Who do I talk to? What kind of lawyer? Will the police open the case back up?
I read today that in Nevada it's not sexual assault unless there is penile penetration. That can't possibly be true right? Right??
Please help.