Location: TX
I honestly have no idea what this falls under, but there has to be someone who has some advice about this situation. I was at a bar in my hometown celebrating a friends birthday when this guy that has had it out for me for years walks in. For context, this guy has harassed me for years: poured a drink on me, spat on me 3x, threatened to punch me, threatened to shoot me in the face, paid girls to try and jump me, called me slurs, and shouted in public that I have various stds, etc etc. I honestly have just spent the last few years trying to ignore this behavior because it is so outrageous I just have a hard time taking it seriously. Additional context, during these instances, I have usually been drinking, so I am not thinking as sharply as maybe I would be sober. (The cops asked me why I don’t film this behavior but if I did he’d switch up and act like I’m filming him because I’m obsessed with him or something?) He does not drink. He just likes to go out. We run in similar circles, and it is not that big of a town, so it’s impossible to completely ignore him without me giving up going to places I have been going for years. It bothers the people around me more than it bothers me because I just am used to it I guess and block it out. Tonight however he shows up to the same bar I’m at with mutual friends, and people around me basically are like uh oh you better watch out look who’s here. I’ve had a few drinks and say sarcastically oh hey it’s my best friend! Obviously being sarcastic because I know he hates me. I am not exaggerating he immediately pulls out his phone dials 911 and says I’m going to tell them you have a gun in your purse. I’m baffled by this I don’t own a gun, and I definitely wouldn’t be carrying in public, so I’m like ok? But I don’t so good luck with that. The cops actually show up in response to his call and as I’m walking to another bar they stop me take my ID look through my purse and tell me I need to leave him alone because he is claiming I’m stalking/harrassing him. I explain my side, and they basically tell me well he said the same about you, and that I need to just leave him alone. He goes back in the bar, and I have to leave and go home because otherwise now I’m some how the problem? I just don’t understand how that is not a false police report or something. There was no verbal or physical altercation no threats were made so how without any proof am I now expected to leave whenever he’s in the same area even if I was there first and I’m not doing anything but existing in a public space??? Please it just doesn’t make sense to me.
Edit: thank you to people that actually tried to give helpful advice. I don’t think I have been taking his actions and words seriously enough and should have started to report it much sooner. I have a similarly abusive father so I think I have had blinders on to the seriousness and need to involve police for my own protection. I think I’ve just hoping it’d stop or he’d move on and i shouldn’t have been waiting years for that to happen. It’s put me in a shitty situation to not have that already on record which allows him to control the narrative. I just really was afraid of escalating and being retaliated against because he does have a lot more money and resources than me and I felt like in a lot of these situations there’s been mostly men around who would be more willing to back him up than me, so I just ended up letting a lot of stuff I shouldn’t have go. I’m honestly scared of him and the lengths he’s willing to go and honestly our mutuals are probably not worth being friends with anyway considering how much they’ve also ignored and acted like it was just normal behavior from him. I’d rather avoid completely.