Location: Triad, North Carolina
Our middle school age son has been targeted by a bully at school. Our son is a straight A student, but a little geeky. He’s also very kind, but has no friends. One of the main reasons for this is that he is relentlessly bullied by one particular classmate in school.
The bully has, and continues to, trip my son in the hallways, ram his shoulder into my son when he walks by. The bully has, in front of other students, poured water on my son’s head, and whipped him with a belt. He does things like put notes in his locker, basically constantly harassing him. He has also grabbed my son’s crotch, said he wants to rape him, and climbs up the side of the bathroom stall to harass my son when he goes to the bathroom.
We’ve complained to the school and they have not rectified the situation.
Our son is skinny and weak compared to this kid, but since the school wasn’t taking care of it, we’ve be trying to teach him how to fight back.
Today, I was waiting in the car-line to pick up my son, and I got a call from the assistant principal’s office that my son had gotten into a fight, was waiting in the office, and they wanted to see me. Well, I walked into the office and the kids mother was there, two teachers, and the bully and my son were in the back room with the disciplinary assistant principal.
Well, I’m a pretty big guy, played college football, 6’5” and I can be intimidating, but I’m normally a pretty docile guy. I went into that office and lost it. I let all of them know at the top of my lungs, especially the bully’s mother, that the relentless bullying is completely unacceptable. That my son was being harassed by her son and that she better keep her son away from my son. She was trying to deny it and I was getting angrier… I felt that the woman was getting really scared, so I sat down, but still continued to yell at her. I mentioned all the things that had been going on, that it was completely unacceptable, how her son watches porn (the bully had told my son that he was recently caught doing so by his father), what he had been doing in the bathroom to my son, the sexual harassment and that I’d sue her and her family if she didn’t keep her son away from my son- I did that, pointing at her and looking her straight in the eye.
The group was really flustered, upset about the noise, scared, and at this point, told us to go home.
My son was mortified and really upset at me, and told me that they were about to call 911 before I sat down. And, he let me know what happened:
My son was tripped, again, by the bully, got up, but this time he hit the bully in the face. Well, that unleashed a bit more than the usual physical violence toward my son, so my son then threw a book at him, which a teacher saw, and ordered my son into the admin office. My son complained about the tripping, so they pulled the bully in as well and called the parents out of the car-line.
I don’t feel like I’m at legal risk because of what I did- I didn’t touch anyone physically, didn’t break anything, or threaten physical violence. But hey, you never know. However, what’s been happening to my son is over the top unacceptable, and I don’t think any child should be put in that position. To have this happen day after day is debilitating and has to be long-term detrimental to the mental well-being of a child. And, I’m sure, we are not the only family that’s going through it.
I really don’t know if it would be a fools errand to approach it…but I think the culpability is with the bully’s family. My instinct is to file a police report particularly addressing the sexual harassment.
The school has cameras in the hallways. So, sending the school a letter to advise them that they should retain the video files on the specific days where the abuse happened (for instance, my son assures me that there will be a video from earlier this week of two kids holding him down while the bully hits him with his belt).
Really want this to stop, for my son and other children who are going through the same thing- and it seems like the only way this will happen is some sort of legal approach. Looking for advice and thoughts.