Location: New York
Basically what the title says.
While I was pregnant, my boyfriend’s mother convinced him he needs to file for custody when our child was born. She’s 4 months old now. We are still together and we still live together. He filed a petition for custody.
He is paranoid that I’m just going to up and leave one day and he won’t see our child. I have no intention of doing this at all. We’ve had our issues but we’re working on them and have no plans to separate or stop living together.
He thinks that he doesn’t have the same rights as me and wants to establish custody so I legally can’t disappear with our child (again, not happening). He’s on the birth certificate. I tried explaining to him that we have equal rights already and this doesn’t make sense but, he just isn’t hearing me.
Obviously there’s a bigger issue at hand here but that’s another story.
What is going to happen with this? What can I do? Do I get a lawyer? Is the judge going to toss this because we’re not separated and still living together? I’m at a loss right now.
EDIT:
This is getting more attention than I anticipated so I feel like I should add more context.
We’re almost 30, we’ve been friends since we were kids, and together for years. We have (had?) plans to get married. This child was completely planned. We are still fully together as a couple and live together. He was actively involved in the pregnancy, birth, and all parenting since. He signed the birth certificate at the hospital. We have equal rights already.
He has involved his mother and others in our relationship more than he ever should have. Of course when this happens, people insert their own opinions and feelings and unfortunately that has gotten in his head.
I am not naive to the family court system. I have another child with another man. We share 50/50 custody and have not been together since I was pregnant with said child. I have a public defender that represents me in that case.
In our home it is me and him, my child (from another man) and our common child. I just went back to work part time. I work mornings while he is home with our child and come home to relieve him of child duties while he goes to work nights. Weekends we are together doing things as a family, sharing parental duties, etc. We make all decisions for our child together. There are no disagreements or discrepancy when it comes to raising our child.
He did not tell me he was filing for custody. I got the petition in the mail (at our shared home) from family court. We have court next month. He has no intention of dropping this. No matter what I say, he is convinced he does not have the same rights as me. I have explained that even if we were to split up we could easily come up with a plan outside of family court and if at that point he felt he needed to go to court, I would support that. I was blindsided by this. It does not make sense to me to file for custody and establish anything when we already have equal rights, live together, and are still a couple.